It was brought to my attention that my son was implied to be cheating in a deck building tournament. This is the wrong attitude towards gaming. Turns out that he just wanted to include some promo cards that he’s fond of and has no intention of gaining an advantage, especially since he and his opponent have equal opportunity in acquiring the cards.

Nonetheless I took it as an opportunity to have a father-to-son talk with my 10 year old.

In life we have all done some sort of cheating; from squeezing your way out of a traffic ticket to cutting into a line to plagiarizing school work or being disloyal in relationships. The reality of cheating applies to games and, intended or not, it is ubiquitous.

Take for example a game as simple as Love Letter. In this game you are trying to be the nearest to the princess or the last player standing. You do this by using the different characters to create various effects that help eliminate other players. I was teaching it to friend of mine from the competitive card game circuit and he could not fathom why he is required to tell the truth. His rational is, “how can you tell if I am telling the truth or not?”

Fact is, it’s hard for other people to tell if one is cheating. For that person, they are more likely conscious of it. If it’s just a board game, why cheat? I told my son that it would never impress me if he won by cheating. It is more impressive is if he won cleanly, or lost gracefully yet did everything by the book.

Board games and tournaments are sometimes counter-intuitive. Board games are commonly designed to create stories and experiences while tournaments are to refine your mettle and endurance. As parents we need to pick the games and situations that encourage more desirable values in kids.

That’s the beauty of board gaming, you have full control on who you play with, where you play and how you play it. It’s about you and your family playing games and creating fun experiences. How competitive or casual you want to take it is up to you.

There are great lessons in tournaments and competition as well. They too have their own values to teach. I have spent a good part of my youth in the competitive card game scene. I’ve seen its merits and flaws. But with life being stressful on its own, I advise against adding much more.

So what do you do when you find your child cheating in a game? Explain that you are disappointed, and explain why. Clearly mention that you are disparaging the act, and not them. Instil the value of integrity and honesty. It does not matter what others think of you, it matters what you think of yourself. Big things start from small habits, nipping bad habits early and replacing them with good ones can help kids grow into well-balanced individuals.

So what if it’s just a board game? Play it well for your friends, family and more importantly, for yourself.

Written by: Ronald Villaver
Edited by: Reg Tolentino